Kidcobra

Get On Your Boots (If You Want)

2009-02-09T18:20:00.005Z

When he's not busy trying to swallow microphones in front of screaming fans in Croke Park, Bono occasionally writes songs with the band U2, and the video for their newest single Get On Your Boots (released on February 13th in Ireland and Feb 15th elsewhere I think) is up on Youtube.

With the track, they've gone for a little bit of a dancier sound, especially with the drums, and there's something about the rising vocal harmonies just after the chorus that I absolute LOVE. Plus, I know that no matter what I think of it now, this will grow on me consistently over the coming months in typical, mysterious U2-song fashion, a la Beautiful Day.

This Is Insane

2009-02-09T11:47:00.003Z

Link:

From Queerty:

An 18-year-old boy in Wisconsin is accused of tricking at least 31 male classmates into sending him naked photos of themselves and then blackmailing some of them for sex acts. By posing as a girl on Facebook, Anthony Stancl would ask male classmates for naked photos of themselves. Once the nude pictures were in his possession, Stancl, again posing as the girl, would tell the duped boys that if they didn't meet and perform sex acts on "her" male friend, their embarrassing photos would be forwarded to their loved ones. It's with this deception that Stancl received numerous sexual favors from several of the initial 31 victims.

Apparently some of the victims were as young as 15; thus, Stancl is charged with a myriad of crimes and is looking at up to THREE HUNDRED YEARS in jail!!

Beyonce Continues Amazing New Concept Of Technology-Based Sexiness In Song Form, Started By Britney's Phonography

2009-02-08T23:16:00.001Z

How AMAZING is this by the way?!

Sunday Beatz (Continued)

2009-02-08T23:11:00.000Z

When I got sick of beatz, this little number was for head-banging bath-scrubbing and manic dusting.

Sunday Beatz

2009-02-08T22:56:00.002Z

I've been cleaning my apartment manically today, and if there's one thing I know it's that pounding drums and dirty grinding basslines make light work of vacuuming and scrubbing. Seriously, I estimate that a study on my housework productivity levels would reveal at least a 50% increase in efficiency and speed whenever phylthy electro beatz are playing.

Guns N Bombs were providing me with my cleaning-boosting choon today, with their new track Riddle Of Steel. Prior to this the only track of theirs I knew was Crossover Appeal, and this new single is a whole different kettle of fish. Cannot WAIT to hear this out! Though it reminds me a LOT of this...

Robyn Before She Got Into Aggressive Angular Haircuts

2009-02-08T12:08:00.002Z

Ah isn't she lovely... This is Robyn circa 2002, singing Keep This Fire Burning, a track from the album Don't Stop The Music (which was only released in Sweden it seems.)

Lykke Li And Robyn, Together? Ok...

2009-02-08T11:57:00.002Z

Robyn and Lykke Li singing the latter's I'm Good, I'm Gone live. Not sure what the walkman's all about...

You Make Me Touch Your Hands For Stupid Reasons

2009-02-07T13:56:00.003Z

Dramatic Reading Of A Break-Up Letter is possibly the funniest dramatic reading or break-up-related Youtube video I have ever seen (I'm counting Text Message Break-Up in that by the way). If you are able to watch this without instantly wanting to replay it, then I salute your iron will slash absolute lack of humour. Once again I sense a bevy of quotes will be lifted from this for future incorporation into conversation...

Happy Birthday Brenda!!

2009-02-03T20:32:00.003Z

Today is Brenda Dickson's birthday! Wow. Our favourite thinspiration has been alive for sixty years, surviving on a diet of fruit and sprouts and powdering good. No doubt she will spend the day teleporting in and out of her closet, wearing dramatic gowns and classic shoes, playing against designers, drawing eyes and sweating her hair. Bottoms up!

Avert Your Eyes! Ab Fab's American Remake Stars Are Here

2009-02-03T11:52:00.008Z

Those of you who've been following the entertainment sites closely will know that Absolutely Fabulous, the truly untouchable Holy Grail of British comedy (aside from a few misguided attempted remakes), has been taken out of its protective titanium time capsule shell and is being raped to death by Fox for an upcoming American remake, starring

Kathryn Hahn as Eddy

and Kristen Johnson as Patsy...

Kristen Johnson on the differences for the American version:
"I mean, it’s a totally different element, it’s a totally different show. We don’t smoke, we are hungover all the time, we chew Nicorette, we’re trying to be more PC, but I think it really works."

They don't SMOKE?!! More PC???! Can you imagine Patsy without a cigarette in her hand? Such shameless pandering to special interest groups is not at all in the Absolutely Fabulous spirit. I can imagine any references to the consumption of illegal substances will also be cut out. Kill-joys!

I can already imagine the rest of the cast: Selma Blair as Saffy, Cloris Leachman as Eddy's Mum, Lisa Kudrow as Bubbles and Yin Chang (Nelly Yuki from Gossip Girl) as Saffy's crazy Asian friend Sarah. This will be disastrous...!

Annie Lennox Is Back; SEW Over The '80s

2009-02-03T10:57:00.005Z

Everyone's favourite Eurythmic (what was the guy called again?) is back with two new songs for her upcoming best-of, The Annie Lennox Collection. She's covering Ash's Shining Light with an accompanying video gay enough to make Cher blush - what's with afro-girl having a significant chunk of her hair missing though??

I really really like this - I love the extra vocal harmonising that she's thrown in, as well as the '60s-style production. It's so unapologetically simple and happy!! This is Springtime in song form.

Fox News: Serious Need To Get A Life BBZ

2009-01-31T15:12:00.003Z

I really don't see what the big deal with If You Seek Amy is. Brit's songs have had far more disturbing messages than this - Touch Of My Hand anyone? *Shudder* On a related note though, I had to Google See You Next Tuesday after watching this. My poor innocent brain...

Inauguration Panorama

2009-01-31T13:26:00.004Z

If you thought your litle 7-megapixel Canon/Sony digital camera was taking high-res pictures, you were cereally wrong. Photographer David Bergman has made an incredible panorama image of Barack Obama's inauguration ceremony, consisting of 220 Canon G10 images stitched together, for a total resolution of 1,474 megapixels and a file size of almost 2 gigabytes.

If this means nothing to you, click on the above link and have a look. From a viewpoint where almost the entire audience is visible, you can zoom in and see every face. The sheer logistics of this are mind-boggling!

Apologies for the lazy title/post. My brain is SO non-functioning right now...

Songsmith Will Haunt My Dreams Tonight

2009-01-18T02:02:00.004Z

In the highly, highly unlikely event that you've ever sat in front of your computer, wistful and yearning, wishing you could make songs that sounded like demo tracks on a Yamaha keyboard without the hassle of actually writing or producing anything, well yearn no more, for your bizarre, twisted prayers have been answered.

In Microsoft's most shocking waste of R&D money since Vista (oooooh I went there!!!), the company has developed Songsmith, a program that... well I'm not actually altogether sure what it does to be honest. It seems you sing into your computer, accompanied by the kind of backing drums you might hear in a QVC electric drill demonstration. Songsmith then makes chords based on what you sing, with various traits determined by a host of sliding scales that you adjust according to your desire. Quite what these sliding scales do is beyond me - yes I'd like my song to be 65% happy and 83% jazzy please, thanks.

I'd really love to know who their tarket market for this is, as the examples given in the above ad are utterly implausible. Office Dad looking for a way to spice up his demonstration? Impossibly-happy daughter messing around on her laptop (Macbook Pro by the way? No amount of stickers can fool mine eyes...)? Perhaps most ridiculous of all, uber-cool musician trying to impress his way back into the rock band? Surely if you were remotely interested in making music you would be messing around on Garageband or similar.

This post has me unusually angry, and I think it's because I'm secretly terrified by Songsmith. As someone who loves writing songs and just messing around with synths and loops and drums, the concept of there being a cross-section of people who want to write music but, you know, couldn't be arsed actually writing it is alarming in itself. Now they can make tracks (albeit shitty ones) without even knowing the first thing about what chords or instruments or ANYTHING are actually IN the songs that are being written for them by this horrible little piece of software. Boo-urns!

UPDATE: I just realised who will buy this - the people that make those cheap mock-ups of famous songs for use in karaoke machines. The resemblance is uncanny.

This Is SO Must-Have

2009-01-16T01:26:00.003Z

OMG BFF LOL is my new obsession! It's a series of three videos by artist Charlie White for a 2008 project called 'Girl Studies'. I'm already incorporating choice quotes from the above video 'Mall' into regular conversation. I seewwwwwwwww need a cookie break.

I've just spent the last hour devouring a carton of Pringles so this second video resonates particularly strongly with me right now:

And most disturbingly (although still strangely hilarious):

Now if you'll excuse me I need to, like, go somewhere and totally do nothing now. The mall is, like, SEEEWWW MUCH...

No, That's The Opposite Of What Is Good

2009-01-16T01:12:00.002Z

Kudos to that girl for doing this video. "Ooowww you are so KINKY!"

At The Other End Of The World

2009-01-13T00:50:00.006Z

Ever wondered what's at the the exact opposite end of the world to where you are right now? No? You unimaginative cretins. Get out of here!

For those of you who have spent sleepless nights wondering what exactly would happen if the world sucked you up and spat you out at the other end, this neat little online tool allows you to find out.

You just type in your current location, hit the button, and let the excitement take over you! Turns out I'm at the opposite end to... a large swathe of ocean. In fact, pretty much everywhere I tried ended up being at the opposite end to ocean of some description; hardly surprising given the 70:30 water:land ratio (thank you, primary school!!) Amazing. And bizarrely terrifying. NEXT!!

LOLZ

2009-01-12T17:56:00.001Z

Via !! omgblog !!

Everything You Want Is Just A Few Hundred Clicks Away

2009-01-12T14:18:00.003Z

For anybody that was disappointed by the general lack of the traditional "amazing shiny new products!" announcements from Apple at this year's Macworld Expo in San Francisco, The Onion has whipped up a little something to appease your insatiable appetite for expensive aluminium-clad electronics. Enjoy!

North America South America

2009-01-11T16:03:00.007Z

Who in God's name are N.A.S.A.??? I've only heard of 'em today, yet on their debut album The Spirit of Apollo (released next month) they've managed to get collaboration efforts from David Byrne, Z-Trip, Chuck D, Method Man, RZA, Fatlip, Karen O, Tom Waits, Kanye West, Santogold, Lykke Li, Lovefoxx, Spank Rock, M.I.A., Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, The Cool Kids, Ghostface Killah, and DJ AM, to name but a few, as well as making my label-tagging of this post an absolutely nightmare!

The video above is Money, featuring the services of David Byrne, Z-Trip, Chuck D, Ras Congo, and Seu Jorge. The video even has artwork by Shepard Fairey (you mightn't know who that is but you've probably seen his handiwork.)

The track below, meanwhile, is a cut from Gifted, featuring Kanye West, Santogold, and Lykke Li. Weird chorus harmonies but me likey the slappy drums and synths! These guys definitely have talent, and I can see this album (when it comes out) being absolutely HUGE. Prepare yourselves for the invasion...

Karen Dreijer Ventures Out On Her Own

2009-01-11T15:26:00.003Z

The Knife fans rejoice! - Fever Ray is the new alter-ego for Knife sibling Karen Dreijer, allowing her free reign in the Emo / Psychedelic / Ambient styles. Have a listen to If I Had A Heart above.

Thus, if you're expecting a radical departure from The Knife's sound of vocoded, tuned-down female vocals, relentless loops, and clicky minimal beats... Sorry, but it's all there! I like this though; it's got a warmer feel than anything off Silent Shout, though it could have fitted nicely on the album.

You can have a little preview of the upcoming Fever Ray debut album on Amazon at the mo; it gets released online from them on January 13th - Seven & Triangle Walks sound pretty good, but this is definitely a pretty ambient album. I love the album art for this as well! If you're buying a physical copy, I'm afraid you're gonna have to wait till the end of March.

In case you were wondering, I have no idea what Olof is up to, apart from DJing, writing an opera and sending tunes into space.

Can't Get Enough Of Pip Brown

2009-01-06T21:19:00.004Z

I think it's about time I shared my extreme undying love for Ladyhawke with you. That's her delicious single Paris Is Burning in that there YouTube video above. A friend of mine recently admitted loving her music but doubting himself entirely as he couldn't help but feel she is essentially an electro Natasha Bedingfield.

There definitely is an unashamed poppiness to her tracks, but a glance at the bio on her website reveals rocky roots, so I probably wouldn't expect any of her stuff to be used on the opening credits for The Hills any time soon.

She plays the instruments on her self-titled debut herself, using mostly '70s and '80s analogue synths. The album came out in September on Aussie label Modular, who you can thank for the slew of Australia-based electrorock acts (Cut Copy, Midnight Juggernauts, Late of The Pier etc.) currently taking over the globe.

This is her latest single, My Delirium:

And this one is my personal fav, Magic:

SO dramatic! Actually gives me tingles every time I hear it... By the way does anybody else recognise that drum loop? I can't help but think it's a loop used in LOADS of songs - sounds like the drums in Dare by Gorillaz (with a bit of effecting), for example. Wreckin me head!

Playing In My Head Right Now III

2009-01-06T20:57:00.003Z

Supreme Beings of Leisure! I don't know how these guys weren't bigger; I first came across their song Under The Gun on the Animatrix soundtrack (remember that series of cartoons released as tie-ins among the Matrix movies?) and loved it straight away.

I recently got my grubby digital mittens on their first two albums and am now seeking out their latest offering 11i, released last year. It's poppy trip-hop; really easy to listen to and definitely catchy.

If that sounds familiar, it's because it sounds EERILY like this:

In case you're wondering why I'm not putting up mp3s of these, it's because Blogger/Google keeps Zahaing me and erasing any posts I put up that link to Zshare files. My sincere apologies! I'm planning a move to Wordpress (hopefully...) which should sort it out.

Kim Zolciak's Blog - Sheer Elegance, Online

2009-01-05T17:32:00.005Z

Everyone's favourite Real Housewife Of Atlanta (though I've never watched the show and cannot, in fact, name any of the other Real Housewives Of Atlanta) now has her own blog!

In her first post, Kim Zolciak shares some holiday snaps that - apparently - were accidentally taken at the beach while Kim accidentally posed with an omnipresent "Kim Zolciak Online" banner, with Kim accidentally discovering them afterwards and going "Oh Em Jee - holiday snaps at the beach! I had no idea these even existed! Lol! Fuck it, I'll start a blog and put these babies online."

In her second post, Kim expresses her surprise at the level of traffic her blog is generating, and the mixed reactions left by commenters on her first post. Not one to be dismayed by h8ers, Kim LOVES to laugh, regardless of the criticism. We know this because, not only does Kim tell the commenters that they gave her a some hearty laughs, she also thoughtfully tags her post with the label "laughter". The inevitable outcome of this is a constant spiral of reactionary posting, with Kim updating us in every post with how much she laughed at the comments on her last post, etc.

She also one-ups Gossip Girl with her 'XOXOXO' sign-off. FUCK it, maybe I should one-up Kim and her fabulous weave.

Laterz y'all - holiday snaps coming soon LOL!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Kidcobra

Deleted Matrix Scene Surfaces On Internet; Is Extremely Gay

2009-01-05T00:13:00.003Z

I don't normally like fan-made movie-worship uploads to YouTube ("Angela presents: My Favourite Love Actually Moments LOLROFLOMG"), largely because I don't know who would want to watch somebody else's shoddily-edited movie snippets. But there's something so utterly ridiculous about this "deleted Matrix scene" - it's almost like it embraces its shit editing - that makes me love it unconditionally. I've watched it five times now and I've laughed out loud every time. Mmmmm Mr Anderson...

This Is Roughly How Drunk I Intend To Get Tonight

2008-12-31T13:23:00.005Z

I can't believe somebody thought of this! Genius! I wonder what would happen if you slowed down Jurassic Park to 1/2 speed... "Muussttt... Goooo... Faaasstteerrrrr..."

One more for your viewing pleasure:

I lost interest in this one after about 1:30, kind of like the way you lose interest in most drunken people's stories after a while. Make sense goddamnit!

Via !! omgblog !!

Oh - Happy New Year everyone!!!

Quirky British Humour Continues Inevitable Box-Office Slaughtering

2008-12-30T19:26:00.002Z

So, like, with the all the success and praise heaped on UK comedy exports to America (The Office, Shaun of the Dead, Ricky Gervais in general), it is not surprising that newer and badder manifestations look set to continue this streak for quite some time.

Lesbian Vampire Killers lands on your laugh-track-repulsed, witty-asides-starved laps sometime in 2009, and I will without a shadow of a doubt be going to see this. The trailer doesn't exactly give much away, aside from the fact that there are lesbian vampires and killers of said lesbian vampires, but it's got the guy from The Catherine Tate Show and Teachers in it so I know there are bountiful jokes involved.

I Shouldn't, But I Do...

2008-12-23T21:35:00.002Z

You know those songs you hear that have so little in common with what you normally listen to, yet you find yourself absolutely enthralled by?

Case in point: Larry Levan's 1985 remix of Stand On The World by the Joubert Singers. From what I've been able to gather, the Joubert Singers were a real choir in New York that recorded a live album, which sold reasonably well and managed to find its way into the hands of disco and funk DJs, who incorporated the track into their mixes. Larry Levan, a extremely hottt house DJ of the time, made a remix that was never given an official release but was brought out on bootleg labels. Or something.

The IMPORTANT thing is that this song absolutely blows me away. I have no idea what it is about it; it just feels incredible any time I listen to it. From the first time I heard it, on this compilation which plays occasionally in work, I was completely and utterly in love. It's the kids choir; it's the rattly piano intro; it's the sexy beats; it's the addictive chorus; it's something to do with the key, like a mild form of way that tiny fraction of the population see colours depending on certain keys and sounds.

I'm not an avid gospel fan most of the time - it sounds good but it's not something I actively seek out when I'm browsing in HMV. I'm also not even remotely religious. And for all I know you might listen to this song and think "what the bejaysus is the big deal with this? It's sooooooo MEH!" But I can tell you that I'm so in love with this I've taken a big leap and bought it on vinyl - a first for me! Now all I need is an actual record player...

My Christmas Just Found A Soundtrack

2008-12-23T17:22:00.003Z

TreeWaxHD from klipcollective on Vimeo

I don't need to remind you all of the amazingness of Soulwax, and I also don't need to remind you that Christmas is very, very nearby (got all those presents yet? I know I haven't...)

What have these two things got in common exactly? Why, it's the above video! Made by something called the Klip Collective, a company/group that specialises in creating elaborate site-specific projections and visuals, the video mixes Soulwax's Fifth of Beethoven remix with co-ordinated dancing santas and musical christmas presents. The audio is also of fabulously high quality... ahhhhhhh my ears say thank you...

On a related note, I'd like to wish you all an amazing Christmas! I don't know if I'll get to write much over the next few days, though now that I've said that I realise I will probably be so bored at home, slash tense and stressed from repeated thinly-veiled bitter intra-family comments, so I may actually end up writing more over the next few days than at any point prior. Really could go either way...

Greer Childers Is My New Thinspiration

2008-12-20T19:51:00.002Z

I'm really starting to think these '80s lifestyle videos are an unmined bounty of comic material; first there was Brenda Dickson, now Greer Childers has entered my life with her fabulous facial stretching techniques. I thought this was a complete piss-take till I Googled her; lo and behold, it's REAL! Waiting for the inevitable Deven Green parodies.

Now You Too Can Throw Shoes At George Bush

2008-12-18T15:34:00.002Z

There goes my free time! Check the game out here.

Go Tell It On The Mountain, Bitches!

2008-12-17T19:18:00.003Z

AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

At time of viewing this only had 547 views on Youtube - criminal! Absolutely criminal! This is the best thing I've seen in ages - the fantastic camera work (loving that zoom-to-bouquet camera transition at 0:15, and bizarrely at 3:05 - seamless!), the repeated urges to have a fabulous Christmas, the beautiful vocal renditions...

Most of all though, I'm loving that bitch on the far right. Merna, is it? Though she clearly looks like she's having the time of her life, I sense she would much, MUCH rather be downing whiskey chasers at a frat party and dancing on a filthy bartop in a Girl's Gone Wild special than standing beside that miserable old bag in that fugly sweater (which I kind of want actually... cringe!)

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to spread this far and wide. It NEEDS to be seen by all. There's so much to love - from the awkward fade-out at the end, to the sheer wondrousness of that backing track, now with added slap-bass! This is Christmas cheer, in glorious, glorious video form!!

Via !! omg blog !!

Lily Allen Catapults Her Way Into My Good Books

2008-12-17T19:03:00.004Z

Despite my absolute love for Britney Spears' latest album Circus, I never could endear myself to the first track released from it, Womanizer. It was just something about the synths and the chords, making it sound like some kind of knock-off of Toxic. Despite hearing it everywhere I went (well and truly; I even heard it as I slept, blaring from the bar under my apartment) I just could NOT get into it.

Until now! I don't know what it is about Lily Allen's cover, but I suddenly see what all the fuss is about. I think it has something to do with Lily's version being more... I dunno, fun I guess. I can't help but think her voice suits the song way more as well.

But before all you h8rs get up in mah grill bout preferring a Lily to a Britney, let me stress that Brit's version is far mightier than Ladyhawke's version, in my humble opinion anyway. It's good, interesting orchestration and everything, but it sounds like it might be more at home in an episode of Midsomer Murders slash period drama than a Britney covers special. If she'd stuck with the massive '80s synths my opinion on this might be very different...

Dubai Continues Aggressive Rampage Of Fabulousity

2008-12-16T16:29:00.003Z

Just when you thought Dubai could not possibly get more obnoxious (after all, they already have this, this and this) along comes Versace and announces plans for a hotel there that will feature a refrigerated beach.

Now I realise Dubai is apparently a very hot place, and sure sand gets pretty toasty when it's exposed to the suns intense rays for prolonged periods of time. This is why it is inadvisable to walk on sand in hot countries barefoot, as you might experience mild, mild discomfort from the heat on the soles of your poor little feet. In which case you should probably pop a pair of flip-flops or sandals on. Problem solved!

It's not exactly the most environmentally friendly approach that's being taken here, but in fairness this IS Dubai; massive swathes of new offshore land and $20-million fireworks displays aren't exactly carbon neutral.

I say let the rich have their gimmicks! When a massive plague of environmental karma wipes Dubai off the map in some kind of dramatic The Day After Tomorrow-style fashion, then the time to worry will have come. Until then, I'm planning my visit to Dubai in late January (seriously...); hopefully the iceballs of wrath will not have started falling by then.

Oh It's A Hard Life!!

2008-12-13T00:39:00.002Z

Who doesn't love supermodels?? If you ever needed proof that being a model is possibly the most amazing career imaginable, watch the above - an induction into Alessandra Ambrosio's upcoming webseries A Model's Life.

From what I can gather, the series will essentially involve gratuitous shots of Alessandra, laughing and having the time of her life at fashion shoots, several beaches, diving off boats and having a drink (just the one drink though) with her mates, all the time maintaining an air of incredibly effortless beauty. I'll be hooked on this, wishing for the life of a model (which is probably the point) while cradling my tub of Haagen Dazs. I literally ate an entire tub this evening - somebody stop me!!

Shower McSteamy Takes His Britney Dance Public

2008-12-13T00:06:00.005Z

He may be unrecognisable in the above still (looking bizarrely like an urban-goth '50s granny) but that is indeed the Britney Spears fanboi I posted about a few days ago.

This time he's busting his (admittedly limited, though I can't really talk) dance moves to the strains of Kill The Lights, and he must have caught considerable notice first time round cos this one is apparently exclusively for britneyspears.com.

I'm a big fan of travellator videos for some bizarre reason - when I first saw the above I was CERTAIN it was filmed in the same place as this, but alas I was wrong.

Unfortunately, despite his best efforts, there is a VITAL COMPONENT missing from this video. Yes - an end-of-scene cameo appearance from mother dearest! In fairness she's probably holding the camera, wondering what in God's name she's doing videotaping her son gyrating around a shopping mall when she could be at bingo, but unless she's in front of that camera I ain't happy!

They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab, I Said...

2008-12-12T23:01:00.001Z

Who Does It Better??

2008-12-09T23:53:00.002Z

I'm afraid embedding is not being my friend right now so you'll have to click here to watch the new video for Britney Spears' latest single, Circus. 3,500,000 views already - impressive!

Of course, a new Britney/Beyonce/Madonna video appearance would not be complete without a DIY improv dance routine uploaded by a token gay. Here it is!

I'm intrigued that he saw fit to tag his video with the words "sexy", "sex" and "jock", but whatevs. To be honest I think it's brilliant - my favourite moment has to be the very end, when a second person is introduced into the mix. Without ruining it for you, I can reveal that it is NOT a token gay flatmate/dancemate!

Also how ridiculous is that shower? It has a frigging SEAT in it. I want one.

It's Not A Big Deal Just, It's RIGHT Here, And It's ALL The Time

2008-12-04T23:07:00.005Z

Poor Blythe. It can't be easy when your daughter chooses to be friends with a home-wrecking botox-addicted pseudo-lesbian, but it must be something else entirely when you type her name into Google and discover THIS.

Now, I've no idea what the fuck 'goop' is, apart from the stuff that collects in the corner of your eye when you apply too much mascara (16:40), but apparently it's a website for the reader to "nourish the inner aspect". WHAAATTT?!

Gwyneth's uber-blog is some kind of Xtreme lifestyle purveyor reader, where the impossibly upwardly mobile housewife can discover the perfect way to use all that Valrhona that's been lying around the maison. Her latest idea is a holiday gift-list featuring such practical recession-era presents as a $1,395 Mulberry Weekend Bag and a $500 Dean & Deluca hamper. She is, like, SO in touch with the middle class?

Her newsletters make her sound like some kind of philosophical Bree Van de Kamp, extolling the true meaning of Thanksgiving - "make sure that no matter what type of meal you are having, you take a moment to think about how much you do have (health, love, friendship, passion, perspective, appreciation, intellect, reason, kindness) and reflect on how you can share more of it with others." W. T. F.

Gwyneth bbz, I can barely afford a McDonald's for dinner; I'm in no mood to read your whiney, potentially bankrupting self-obsessed blog posts. You'll excuse me if I spend more time studying my latest Tesco Clubcard statement than your grossly misinformed ranting . Re: that link - I'm quite sure the concept of seasons is a well-established, global phenomenon (as distinct from a geographical one) but what do I know, my disposable income is nowhere near the Goop threshold level.

In the interest of boring, banal balance however, I point your attention to this - note the "other work" section. Forgive my seriousness but $500,000 for breast cancer research is truly impressive. If her blog wasn't so ridiculous, and if she ditched her FleshMaster 2000-addicted friends, I'd have serious respect for this one.

This Is Like Watching The Women's Final At Wimbledon

2008-12-04T22:58:00.002Z

Via !! omgblog !!

Judith Sheindlin And Her Producers Need To Watch This

2008-12-04T22:45:00.002Z

I love watching a Judge Judy marathon as much as the next person, but I'm always somewhat disappointed that there isn't more trashy confrontation on the show. During the after-court summaries the plaintiff and defendant are always so tame, each of them standing back politely to allow the other to recite their spiel to the camera. "I don't care what Judge Judy says, Renee Laverne OWES me $500!"

The folks in the above video clearly believe in doing things differently. The subject matter is obviously extremely serious, but forget legalities, judges and courtroom verdicts: if someone'e pissed you off, slap them and try to pull their hair out! No nonsense necessary. If every episode of Judge Judy (slash Judge Joe Brown) ended like this, ratings would rocket.

Feature-Length This, Please

2008-12-04T17:48:00.003Z

There are far, far too many familiar faces in Prop 8: The Musical for me to begin listing them, so I'm going to skip over that, except to observe: yes that is Sarah Chalke you see on the sidelines of the h8ers. Bit part!

As the creator and writer of this masterpiece Marc Shalman notes, it's about six weeks too late but that hardly matters now; to be honest, to me the whole Prop 8 shenanigans has the whiff of temporariness (yes that is a word, apparently...) about it - does anybody really believe that gay marriage is still going to be illegal in California in ten, even five years?

That said, if such draconian and ridiculous legislation inspires such fabulous comical/musical productions, maybe the whole thing isn't so bad after all... *ducks to avoid volley of angry glitter bombs and cosmo-based Molotov cocktails*

A Capella Kids

2008-12-02T22:17:00.005Z

The pitchings a bit off in places but this is still amazing! That instrumental breakdown guy rocks my world. If/when you get bored of this, you should also check this out. The group, in case you were wondering, is the Singing Knights of Carleton College, in Minnesota.

Actually, despite the sound quality, I reckon these guys have way more technique:

For The Record Finally Airs

2008-12-02T10:42:00.005Z

Soooooo as if anybody needed any introductions/reminders, Britney Spears' pseudo-documentary Britney: For The Record aired last night, promising to answer all our questions about the pop princess' rather erratic and weird last few years.

Don't me wrong, I loved British-accent-Britney (Babs?) but am glad she has finally got her shit together and is returning to 2003/2004-era, even if it does translate as a generous helping of sugar coating applied to all aspects of her life.

She definitely comes across as pretty well-grounded at the moment - telling jokes, having a laugh, but also not afraid to show some real emotion. Unfortunately it's hard to know how much of this was real and how much was scripted to perfection.

The sugar coating was particularly annoying, as the questions that most people would have asked her were not even touched upon. I for one would have asked her about (I swear I'm not obsessed but) the British accent: who was her vocal trainer? I mean c'mon it was amazing! WHY did she pick a British accent? Just cos Madonna does something doesn't mean it's cool...

Speaking of Madonna - I really think somebody needs to stage an intervention before she pulls a Maryann (bring back Cybill!!) and becomes completely unrecognisable.

Papa Spears came across as quite irritating - it's clear he cares about his daughter but you couldn't shake the feeling that she was essentially a cash-cow to him. Throughout the interview she clearly despises his influence on her, mocking him and at one stage reducing him to tears, which was a tad harsh but who knows the level of emotinal complexity operating in a family that constantly lives under the spotlight.

I've put part one at the end of this post; at the moment the other parts are on Youtube but only in a random-gay-pointing-a-camcorder-at-his-TV form. Hopefully some higher quality ones will be up soon.

Oh and they played this! C'mon get together...

Another Madonna Goodie

2008-11-30T14:02:00.003Z

Cyberraga - from the Music era. It was a bonus track on the Japanese and Australian versions of the album, and was a b-side on Music (Don't Tell Me in the UK and some other European countries.)

She's up to her old chanting ways again in manner of Shanti/Ashtangi, but this one's way dancier and not quite as obnoxious. The seriously cool video is a projection from her Re-invention Tour, from Vogue according to one of the video's commenters. Me likey!

And I might as well throw in this one while I'm at it. Has To Be was a b-side on the Ray Of Light single - yet more William Orbit for you:

A Horse With No Name

2008-11-29T01:15:00.005Z

You know those songs you here, that you've heard a million times, but have never worked out what they are? I know I've mused about this a gazillion times already but it happened again recently, when I heard a phylthy cover of a song I've heard many a time.

I had very little to work on unfortunately; there's some "la-la-la"s, something about a desert and a horse, and I remember hearing the original at the end of that Friends episode where Joey goes to Las Vegas to pursue his big break as the lead in a movie but upon arrival discovers that the project is a big dud without financing.

Extensive Googling revealed the song name - America's Horse With No Name - and the perpetrators of the phylthy remix in question - A.Human, an act I knew nothing about until now. Apparently they're an East-London-based electro/rock/soul group signed to Wall of Sound with a debut album released a few months ago (adding to Christmas Wish-List 2008 NOW.)

Don't take my word on the phylthyness though, have a listen. A considerable proportion of this songs's 9,000-odd views on Youtube are attributable to yours truly...

Stressssssss

2008-11-28T19:33:00.004Z

...is something that I'm no longer experiencing thanks to a combination of factors, the most substantial of which is securing full-time employment and having de monies in de bank (ref. Fonejacker). However this isn't stopping me from enjoying this stonking remix of Justice's Stress by French upstarts Auto.

It was on Ed Rec Vol. 3 but completely escaped my notice until I realised that this is the version of Stress that Justice use on their A Cross The Universe CD/DVD concert release that was recently released (kinda like the way they use MSTRKRFT's remix of D.A.N.C.E. on tour as well.) If you ask me, it's a definite improvement on the original... Which is still great, especially when combined with video.

Stress (Auto Remix) - Justice (Zshare)

Boo You Bell Baubles?

2008-11-27T11:59:00.002Z

Some festive Fonejacker goodies. Enjoy!

Some Unreleased Madonna Goodies

2008-11-26T14:32:00.002Z

This is a cover of ABBA's track Like An Angel Passing Through My Room; it's a demo recording from 1998 between Madge and William Orbit, that would been included on Music (I think...). Not mad on it to be honest.

Liquid Love was, again, William Orbit and Madonna recording for Music, but apparently it gave her "the wrong tingles". Eh, nul point BBZ! If I could grab an mp3 of this I would be in heaven.

The Game was recorded between Mirwais and Madonna, and would have been on American Life. Meh...

Did you know there was going to be a Madonna musical? Well, not quite, it was titled Hello Sucker! and was envisioined as a 20s-style affair based on the life of Texas Guinan (thank you, Wikipedia). The above track, Is This Love (Bon D'Accord), would have been in this musical. There's something about the way she says "d'accord" that gets on my nerves but part from that I quite like this.

The history of Shake Your Head (Let's Go To Bed) makes MY head hurt. Read about the song's history here. As you can probably guess, this is early, early Madge...

This one's confusing me a bit. Purdy is not listed on that Wikipedia page of unreleased Madonna tracks I just linked to, but it definitely sounds like William Orbit, and I can imagine this being on Ray of Light; it reminds me vaguely of Sky Fits Heaven.

I always thought Ray of Light (the track, not the album) ended way too abruptly, so this makes SO MUCH SENSE to me. If I can find a full, extended version of this I will be on CLOUD NINE!! Wish me luck...

Playing In My Head Right Now II

2008-11-26T14:26:00.000Z

William Orbit needs to get producing again.

Oscars Are Going To Gay Shambles

2008-11-26T13:02:00.004Z

I know that Best Original Song is already a pretty gay Oscar category, but brace yourselves: apparently both Miley Cyrus and Mariah freaking Carey could be nominated this year.

Add this to the inevitable High School Musical 3 entry (or entries; it seems they can have two) and you have possibly the campest thing to grace the Oscars since Brokeback Mountain, which actually wasn't that camp at all now that I think about it... Personally I wouldn't mind I Want It All from HSM3 winning, but Can I Have This Dance will probably get it. To be honest all I could think about during that song was what kind of school has a roof garden with trees, potted plants and a trellis gazebo, and WHY wasn't I sent to it when I was younger?!

Teacher And Runway-Model Student's Sordid Affair

2008-11-26T12:49:00.005Z

Can you believe he is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD? Who could blame her?! Except for in the video on that link... Sudden non-hotness.

Kristen Wiig Is Going Places

2008-11-26T10:26:00.006Z

Ok I think this is an old(ish) one from SNL but it's still brilliant. Amy Poehler is still here - apparently this year is her SEVENTH season, now that's dedication. Actually, on a related note, did you know Dr. Luke (who produces a few of the tracks on Britney's new album Circus, as well as Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl) was bass player in the SNL Band for ten years? Random.

It's Kristen Wiig who steals the show here however, as Penelope, a relentless brag. I feel this is another sketch/Youtube short that will permeate throughout my life over the coming weeks, manifesting itself in various ways but largely by means of me impersonating Penelope at opportune, and I suppose inopportune, moments. The weirdest thing is that I actually know somebody that is so unbelievably like Penelope, though I suspect the point of the sketch is that everybody else does too...

DMCA Strikes Again

2008-11-26T00:31:00.004Z

For the second time in as many months I've been served with a DMCA notice from Google, the hosts of this blog, informing me that certain "content" on these pages is in violation of various laws regarding copyright infringement. The page in question this time was something I uploaded just yesterday, a post that had links to Zshare files I uploaded of two tracks from Kanye West's brilliant new album, 808s and Heartbreak.

Now, I realise that copyright laws exist for a reason. As somebody who eventually hopes to make a living from selling his music for a profit, I am glad they exist. They ensure that people who are creative, talented, and who work hard to create something beautiful are rewarded for their efforts. If they didn't exist there would be far, far fewer artistic works in the world - what would the point be, apart from self-satisfaction? Artists need to earn a living too.

What galls me (apart from the fact that my post itself was not in violation of anything; after all, Google isn't hosting my "illegal files", Zshare is) is the fact that I don't think anything I've ever uploaded has endangered artists' livelihood. Did anybody download the two tracks I uploaded yesterday (Paranoid and Say You Will) and think "great, now I don't have to buy Kanye's album"? If you did, please speak up and prove me wrong. As far as I'm concerned, anything I upload is for a taste, a preview of the goods, not to make sure those pesky multi-millionaire artists are denied a sale.

Of course, this isn't the way the industry sees it. Illegal files are illegal files; if you don't own the copyright, what are you doing giving it away? For me however, the point is that there are plenty of artists around right now who simply would not be famous if it wasn't for blogging and illegal file uploading. It helps you discover new artists, ones that you absolutely would not hear if your entire music input was derived entirely from CDs you buy in your local record store. It's such a pointless, aimless exercise, it's no wonder the RIAA and IFPI get such a hard time on the interweb.

I don't I've ever encouraged illegal downloading en masse, and I certainly wouldn't have done it if it meant start-up artists losing out on valuable sales. It would probably, therefore, be against my principles to remind you all that Kanye's new album (and not just the two tracks I uploaded) is available now from all good torrents sites (Google them - oh the irony!), so I won't.

Future Childhood Trauma Caught On Tape, Broadcast To Entire World Via Youtube

2008-11-21T13:23:00.005Z

I always knew American Idol was a big deal for a lot of people. The screaming fans as the cameras pan over the massive assembled audience, extreme booing and/or threats of violence whenever Simon Cowell criticises somebody in the Final Ten, the sheer number of votes cast every year; all of these factors demonstrated that this program was something people can get very, very passionate about.

To be honest, my only reason for watching is the fabulous Paula Abdul, and even she's been kind of tame lately (if you can count the discovery of a stalker's dead body near her house as tame.)

The dedication of THESE fans, however, knows no bounds. David Archuleta t-shirts and posters, as well as the fact that this video is clearly documenting some kind of American Idol PARTY, have revealed a horrifying new American Idol niche to me, one that I knew existed but had never had any reason to observe - the Tweenagers.

If there's one thing this video shows me though, it's that we could all stand to be a bit more like Aero Surf girl. She clearly doesn't give a fuck WHAT the result is, but by carefully-timed screams and outbursts of intense happiness she convinces the others that she is just as upset as them, thereby securing her position on this hideous social ladder and ensuring that she isn't viciously and furiously clawed to death.

Girl in Red Top also doesn't appear to give a fuck who wins but, lacking the charisma of Aero Surf girl, chooses to make a swift exit to the left upon announcement of the result, before retiring to the couch and awkwardly cradling herself for the remainder of the 'party'. If this was a job interview Aero Surf girl would SO have this in the bag.

UniqueDaily via dlisted

You Know It's Christmas When...

2008-11-21T13:03:00.003Z

...Marks and Spencer bring out their annual holiday-season ad campaign. They've stuck to their current favourite faces - Twiggy, Lily Cole etc. - and thrown in some Take That for good measure. On a side note, my mother is this year giving serious consideration to blowing her hard-earned cash on a decadent, sumptuous Christmas feast from the mouth-watering M&S Christmas Food catalogue. Several pounds will be gained...

More Treadmill Shenanigans

2008-11-20T15:54:00.002Z

There are so many videos on Youtube of people falling / being thrown / diving off treadmills, and for some reason I am finding every single one of them hilarious today. Here's a few of my favs:

Mainly because I have no idea WHY she would be standing on the back of a treadmill, and because when she falls her movements make it look like someone is performing an exorcism on her.

There's a lot to be said for the super-short, action-intense treadmill videos, such as the one above. Seven seconds and the guy manages to run on a treadmill, accidentally smash it to pieces and roll dramatically off it. Impressive!

I know it's not a treadmill video but you HAVE to watch this...

Cannot Stop Watching This

2008-11-19T21:11:00.002Z

While we're on the subject of intensely ridiculous Youtube videos, I've had the above on my computer for about a year now and ANY time I need a pick-me-up it never fails to deliver, again and again. Eva Longoria (slash Magnum Mini) says YES (obscure reference - I apologise).

AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

2008-11-19T21:08:00.003Z

*unable to type due to intense, wheezing, stroke-inducing laughter*

Via omgblog

I Use Fair Because I'm LIGHT-COMPLECTED

2008-11-19T10:41:00.003Z

As much as I love Deven Green's parodies, I just realised that the originals are also FANTASTIC. She looks like an absolute chola applying her make-up in the mirror though - lipstick pencil? Sharpie eyebrows much? "Now, because I have dry skin, I choose an oily bassshhhhe..."

"I powder very VERY... Good"

This Song Makes Me Uncomfortably Hungry

2008-11-19T10:24:00.002Z

Breakfast (Mercury Remix) - LeLe (Zshare)

Fashion To Confuse

2008-11-19T00:22:00.002Z

Sweet bejaysus. I've just heard about Korean fashion lable Tailorable via Skeleton Legs via omgblog and I honestly cannot make my mind up about it/them (click on that Skeleton Legs link for a bevy of catalogue photos).

On the one hand it's pretty unique stuff and I love the awkward quirky charm of the tailoring, especially on the check sports jacket on the left in the above photo (I also absolutely adore the navy double-breasted jacket in the catalogue; Love Boat chic is SHRN). On the other however, omgblog's tag for this combined with the fact the model Tailorable have used looks about ten years old makes me ever-so-slightly (and highly irrationally) get the impression that I'm looking at some kind of highly sophisticated and extremely subtle form of child pornography.

I mean, I can't understand why somebody would see a model that looks like they belong in a Korean beginner's spelling bee competition and think "now that's how I want to look. Finally someone has catered for my bizarre boy-worshipping clothing fetishes!" And yet they're my bizarre clothing fetishes - after all, I just admitted that I love the double-breasted jacket with the gold buttons. But it's a nice jacket!! Right?! This is SO WEIRD...

This Is Why People Think Cats Are Evil

2008-11-18T20:54:00.002Z

Don't get me wrong, we've had several at home and they were adorable, but these ones seriously aren't doing themselves any favours.

My Inner (Outer?) Nerd Is Extremely Excited

2008-11-18T11:10:00.004Z

The first proper (i.e. not teaser) trailer for J.J. Abram's upcoming Star Trek flick has been posted online. Curiosity kicked in and I decided to try streaming in one of those fancy HD sizes instead of the generic small/medium/large - I mean, they are sooo dial-up.

After a little wait I have to tell you, it makes such an incredible difference, and for sure has me incredibly ecstatic about the new movie, being the complete and utter sci-fi geek that I am. I have to say the ship in this new trailer looks a lot better and swankier than I recall the old Enterprise looking like. Actually EVERYTHING about this trailer looks a lot better than I recall (Chris Pine much?) although I'm quite sure Uhura, despite her fabulousity, would NEVER be seen in anything as outrageous as just a bra.

While We're On The Subject Of Obama

2008-11-17T23:08:00.003Z

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are
This could essentially be me. What am I supposed to do with my dozens of boxes of unused Shepherd Fairey t-shirts now?!

M.I.A. Comin' Back With...

2008-11-17T12:04:00.006Z

Blink and you'd have missed it! Two weeks ago M.I.A. put a new track up on her Myspace, a collaboration with Blaqstarr in anticipation of the U.S. election. No prizes for guessing who she backed for Commander in Chief... Obama beatz detected.

Although I'm delighted that the release of new M.I.A. material of some description obviously indicates that she isn't retired or festering in a crack den, I can't help but wonder (I feel a Carrie Bradshaw moment...) why she has to make SUCH a big deal out of something so innocuous as an election.

Before you completely misinterpret what I'm saying, I should tell you that I followed the election in the States extremely closely for someone that wasn't even going to have the chance to vote. I read blogs every single day keeping me updated, I checked the polls on BBC News so frequently I feared I might have some kind of compulsive disorder, and I delighted in finding every possible opportunity to ridicule Sarah Palin. You can probably scratch the "-ed" in "delighted" there actually... (to clarify - that does not, contrary to popular belief, make me a sexist, rather observant of the fact that the woman is a complete nincompoop).

I spent a good three days celebrating when I found out Obama had won - after all, this is one of those landmark moments that you are so utterly ecstatic to witness, and that define your memories much later in life.

But John McCain really isn't that bad. He's an astute, intelligent and well-spoken politician with oodles of experience and a gift for rhetoric. He's more centric on the political spectrum than Bush. If he had won, the U.S. would still end up making far, far better choices than were made under the soon-to-be-previous administration.

I realise that Obama's victory signifies something far more important than just a return to Democrat leadership, but that does not by extension mean that John McCain is some kind of vicious hatemonger. So to say something as ill-conceived as "for you the words are Obama vs Mc Cain for me its terror vs genocide" is a tad ridiculous - as well as confusing.

OK, rant over. All hail M.I.A.! More please!

P.S. Is anybody else loving the video? Note to self: opening several Quicktime windows and playing them at various times is a perfectly acceptable and fabulously affordable music video concept.

Fake Blood, Real Good Times... Collective Groan

2008-11-16T21:13:00.004Z

I had the absolute pleasure of going to see Fake Blood perform an absolutely stonking DJ set at The Twisted Pepper last Thursday, and have taken it upon myself to share his amazingness with the rest of you. I know I very lazily linked to a veritable treasure trove of Fake Blood tracks a while back, but in case you missed it here's a few of them to whet your appetite. If you get the chance, GO AND SEE THIS GUY. The place was absolutely electric, my clothes were soaked in sweat and I was completely deaf when I got home. All the true signs of a good night.

Look For The Woman (Fake Blood Remix) - Dans Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip (Zshare)
Touch Too Much (Fake Blood Remix) - Hot Chip (Zshare)
Stuck On Repeat (Fake Blood Remix) - Little Boots (Zshare)

St3p Up 3D 3 Th3 Str33ts 3

2008-11-12T18:42:00.005Z

Apparently this isn't a joke. I think my favourite thing about this poster, apart from its disregard for geography and relative distance, is the obscured faces of the lead dancers. Are they that unimportant? Was Channing Tatum unavailable for even the briefest of cameos?

Actually I don't know I'm complaining because I'm obviously going to go see this. The idea of bin lids smashing into rain-soaked pavement, of token underprivileged girl with dead parents/siblings on drugs/life of general ghetto hardship dancing her way into the record books/college/academic scholarship/hearts of the nation, IN THREE DIMENSIONS... Be still my beating heart!

Sarah Palin for 2012?

2008-11-09T13:17:00.002Z

Eh, maybe not. Seriously, even I knew what NAFTA was and I live 3,000 kilometres away. I know it's been said a gazillion times but how can anyone think this woman is even remotely qualified to be commander-in-chief of the (still) most powerful country on the planet?

My Eyyyeessssss!

2008-11-08T20:22:00.000Z

Beginning my frantic gym workouts first thing tomorrow morning.

Via dlisted

Tasty Mashup Treats

2008-11-07T20:05:00.005Z

I was Alan Braxeing earlier (an occasional habit) and stumbled across these fabulous videos of The Twelves, a heretofore unheard of (by me at least) twosome from Rio de Janeiro. This is possibly the coolest 7 minute mix-up ever:

And here's a lovely remix of M.I.A.'s Boyz, tossed with some Lemon Jelly. Mmmmm beatz salad...

And New Young Pony Club's Get Lucky sprinkled with a generous serving of Radiohead's There There. Delicious.

I'm now going to go on a manic, manic mp3 hunt to try to track these babies down...

UPDATE: mp3s detected! They're on hypem, I can't grab em right now as am on restrictive internet cafe PCs (Windoze - boo-urns!!!) but I'll put them up as soon as I can.

PES Success

2008-10-29T18:06:00.003Z

I was busy wasting away the hours watching Eleventh Hour, CBS's rival to Fringe, on SideReel earlier when the site went down for twenty minutes. Any attempts to watch tv shows instead resulted in an apology box, explaining that they were busy doing some fancy new shit with channels, and a little YouTube video at the bottom. Intrigued, I pressed play...

LOVE IT. Who is this guy? I checked out his site; he's already done a whole load of commercials (actually, when I was watching the above video I could just see the inevitable lucrative Playstation deal) and has a few other shorts on his site. These must be an absolute bitch to plan! Stop-motion is so hot right now.

UPDATE: WWAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

All The Proof I Need That College Footballers Are Raging Homos

2008-10-24T19:51:00.002+01:00

Freudian slip much? It's tenuous, I know, but I don't get out much these days.

Via Towleroad

Holy Frick

2008-10-24T16:43:00.001+01:00

This face will haunt my dreams tonight.

Via dlisted

Haaaaaaaaa!

2008-10-24T16:33:00.002+01:00

This is one of those videos you can just keep watching again and again and again... I love his little furtive eye darts when the chair makes its first overtones of strain. What I want to know is how the HELL did that reporter keep a straight face? Somebody deserves a pay rise!

While I'm on this...

The Sound Of Hell Freezing Over

2008-10-20T01:44:00.001+01:00

Why why why why why why why why why why why why why??!

Can't Wait For Those New Disney Stars

2008-10-17T02:11:00.003+01:00

Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line Of Genetically Engineered Child Stars

Another gem from The Onion. I have absolutely no idea how the actors keep a straight face while filming these sketches; it would literally take me a hundred takes to talk about Zac Efron's skin dissolving.

Ace Of Base Announce New Album, To Be Fully Appreciated In 10-12 Years

2008-10-16T13:31:00.003+01:00

My day has officially been made! If Ace of Base can squeeze out some hits nearly as fabulous as those from the last decade, I'll be happy.

They already have a greatest hits album on the way in November, and a reunion tour planned. Busy Betties! Here's their reworking of Wheel Of Fortune, being released later this month. I can't help but feel this would feel more at home in an Austrian apres-ski lodge with a pitcher of Gluhwein.

And the original. INTERPRETIVE DANCE!

Oh and in case you're wondering, they finally ditched their elusive fourth member Linn. I didn't realise how much of a whingebag she was until I read this. You can just tell she's the kind of person you have to ask to repeat everything several times because she mumbles constantly. Speak up, woman!

Get Yourself Some Fake Blood

2008-10-15T23:05:00.001+01:00

...right here.

Sarah Palin's Son Is Kinda Hot

2008-10-07T22:37:00.003+01:00

He's the one at the end. Does that make me a bad person? I can't decide.

In related news, Sarah Palin is apparently planning on making an appearance on SNL in the very near future! To me this sounds like the worst idea ever, given the ease with which she has been ripped the crap out of on previous episodes of said show, but if it means she can be completely pwned live on air, then fair enough!

Anyway bitches, I'm off to London tomorrow for a week of Xtreme flat-hunting, which will mean minimal-to-zero blog updates. If any of you know of any really, really cheap butler-serviced palatial abodes in Kensington, hit me at this address y'all.

Laterz! (you know you love me etc.)

Kidcobra

Blast From The Past

2008-10-05T19:03:00.002+01:00

Ah cassette tapes. This time yesterday I had almost forgotten their existence, browsing my library of mp3s and contemplating that it has been an alarmingly long time since I actually purchased a CD for myself. Then my friend Maedhbh called to my house clutching her handbag, for what was to become a night of extremely excessive drinking, dancing, and pancake-making (surprisingly good drunken food fodder, in case you were wondering).

From her handbag she proceeded to produce these... things. "What are they again?" "Cassette tapes, dear boy, cassette tapes". This exchange did not actually take place but it may very well have, given my shock at seeing these little devices of plastic and magnetic tape - one of which contained a slightly-aged recording of the above track.

"Ah I remember that one alright," I mused, suddenly reminded of Ireland's Top 30 Hits and the excessive airplay that song received while it was out. Then she carefully inserted said cassette tape into my stereo and pressed play. No fewer than twenty repeats later we were still dancing. Wooooh!

I don't know how but ten years on this still sounds amazing, and has been played around a bazillion times on my computer today (sadly I have been unable to find a proper mp3, and have listening to a version taken from the Night At The Roxbury soundtrack). Bamboo were serious one-hit wonders, though they released a second single, The Strutt, which got to number 36 in the UK charts, nowhere near Bamboogie's peak of number 2.

The result of this nostalgic binge is that I am currently considering my first CD purchase of the year: a CD single of said song on eBay (including remixes!). £2.50 for a piece of 1998... I think I will be investing.

Radiohead Remixed

2008-10-04T21:14:00.007+01:00

Oooh they're at it again! First they had us all in a tizzy when they announced the Nude remix contest a while back, now Radiohead have put the parts for Reckoner online to give the world at large another shot at playing around with Thom's voice as much as possible.

To be honest the whole thing sounds like a bit of a swizz to me; the concept of asking the public at large to PURCHASE individual stems of a song for the explicit purpose of remixing them and submitting those creations to an online forum is somewhat ludicrous, especially when plenty of other remix possibilities are available to amateur producers. They also don't seem to have done much to correct the problems of the last contest.

The contest (I'm loathe to use that term since the winner doesn't actually get anything) will, however, result in some fabulous tracks gracing the blogosphere over the coming weeks, and has already thrown up two good ones, which were released when the contest (UGH) was announced.

Reckoner (Holden Remix) - Radiohead (Zshare)
Reckoner (Diplo Remix) - Radiohead (Zshare)

And yes, I realise that they have a right to charge for stems, given that they made the album available online for free. But let's be realistic here; Radiohead fans are a dedicated bunch, and I'm willing to assume a considerable number of them paid far and above what Radiohead would have made per album on a physical sale (indeed, are making right now with In Rainbows on XL, though XL are a nice label so who knows).

I paid £5 for it, which, by most estimates, is at least twice what most bands make per album sale. Given that Radiohead have yet to reveal their profits on their Internet release "gamble", it would be unwise to assume that they have some kind of financial imperative to recover any losses from their latest album.

Oh well what do I care. Diplo remix is amazing! Long live Radiohead!

Annie Q

2008-10-03T17:59:00.003+01:00

A delicious dose of electro pop for you, in the form of Annie covering Stacey Q classic Two Of Hearts. This has Richard X on production duties so is all shiny and flawless. Style-wise it doesn't deviate much from the original, which is fine by me - it essentially comes across as a well-executed update to an already brilliant song. And they obviously had to keep the "I-I-I-I-I"s... Annie's new album Don't Stop is released in three days so get your credit cards ready!

Two Of Hearts - Annie (Zshare)

I highly recommend doing a Seth Green to the above:

I don't know why that video cuts off so abruptly; the sentence, in case you're wondering, is "Last night, I dreamt of Glocca Morra... again". Best movie evah.

Oh and Kelly Osbourne's 2005 stab at the track isn't too bad either. I'm so torn! Deffo liking the drums on this one. Punchy...

Kitsuné Still Churning Out Those Compilations

2008-10-03T16:19:00.007+01:00

Kitsuné Maison 6 is on its way to you very soon, with a release date of the end of this month. However, I managed to get my greedy mittens on a copy and am very much liking what I'm hearing. I wasn't too mad on Kitsuné Maison 5, so I'm delighted to say that with this one the gang have gone for more electro, in a similar vein to 4. Fabulous!

The first track comes from Kitsuné regulars Lo-Fi-Fnk, and is a very enjoyable, almost Cut Copy-ish number (circa Bright Like Neon Love). They've definitely been busy polishing their sound and the results are evident; at the mo this is my favourite track on the album, though this is bound to change at least seven times.

There are quite a few other gems; in particular, the D.I.M. remix of Fischerspooner's Danse En France is a complete floor-filler. BEATZ DETECTED. Etienne De Crecy's addition to the compilation has one of the phattest bass sounds I've heard in a long time (or it could just be my stereo - it seems to like certain bass sounds over others. Right now it's smothering me in bass, like a massive synth blanket. Mmmm...)

The compilation finishes with a track from The Shoes, who I'm liking more and more with every passing day. Keep an eye on 'em, they're gonna be huge...

Want U - Lo-Fi-Fnk (Zshare)
I Wish I Was A Polar Bear (Arctic Urgency Edit) - Ted & Francis (Zshare)
Stay The Same (Edit) - AutoKratz (Zshare)
Danse En France (D.I.M. Remix) - Fischerspooner (Zshare)
Hanukkah - Etienne De Crecy et Monsieur Jo (Zshare)
Say Whoa - A-Trak (Zshare)
Let's Go - The Shoes (Zshare)

Sarah Palin Has Thrown McCain At You

2008-10-02T01:25:00.003+01:00

Click on it for a size that isn't ridiculously tiny.

Think my favourite bit has to be Bill Clinton's comment; also, "Vladimir Putin, Sultan of Love". If this was real I'd be adding her RIGHT NOW.

New Bond Theme Continues Time-Honoured Tradition Of Incorporating Death Into Song Title

2008-10-02T00:10:00.006+01:00

I was quite excited when rumours of Amy Winehouse being approached to do the theme song for upcoming Bond flick Quantum of Solace first surfaced. The prospect of the Crackie of Camden incoherently warbling her way through an entirely new three-minutes-and-thirty-seconds composition somehow made me quite excited. Or maybe it was the prospect of more Mark Ronson Trumpets, who knows.

Suffice to say, when it emerged that Alicia Keys would instead be behind the next Bond theme tune, my heart sank. I like Alicia Keys, she definitely has some catchy tunes but seriously - there are other instruments, you don't have to have a piano in everything. We get it, you spend years learning The Dark Art and now you want to show off, plus you have a guaranteed video prop, banging on the keys like you're in the throes of an extremely painful orgasm. But c'mon Alicia, live a little. How about an electric piano? Harpischord? Organ? Mellotron? Hurdy-gurdy? And that seven-note riff... The main thing jumping out at me from this video is Jack White on the drums. Who knew! Now Meg really is obsolete, bless.

I like how this nods to the ancient, mystical tradition of utilising death/murder as a sexy way to add zest to your Bond song. What I need to hear now is an Immuzikation-style mega mash-up, with all relevantly-named Bond songs. Working title can be A View To A License to Live And Let Tomorrow Never Dies Another Way To Die Another Day. Or something.

Filth And Wisdom

2008-10-01T12:46:00.007+01:00

The trailer for Filth and Wisdom, a movie variously described as "erotic", "playful", "poignant" and "touching" by its distributors, actually looks pretty good. Sure, that Ukrainian guy gets a tad irritating by the time the trailer reaches its close, but I'm sure I could learn to love his ethnic eccentricities over the course of 81 minutes. Yep, I'll probably go see this.

Wait, what was that little split-second screen I missed? I'll just go back and watch that. Towards the beginning I think. I thought it said something about a director, and that director was Madonna, but that can't be right, I... Oh. I see. Hmmm. Em... Well maybe we'll hold off on the advance credit card bookings, shall we? No use being hasty.

It's not that my regard for Madonna has plummeted, given everything that she's done recently. Ok well it sort of is. But my sense of revulsion in this regard is also based on the well-established fact that anything, ANYTHING involving the word "movie", or a film title, and "Madonna" in one sentence runs the risk of being absolute rubbish. This can have obvious unfortunate consequences in the case of films for which Madonna is invited to the premiere. Poor fools.

Certain films have somehow managed to her destructive, toxic effect, but for every Evita there is a Shanghai Surprise, for every Dick Tracy a Swept Away. With this being her directorial debut, I have my extreme doubts about the success of this film, not just commercially but in general. I can imagine seeing that trailer and it being directed by somebody else entirely, and thinking to myself "Christ, think I'll go see that". Upon watching the trailer with her nauseating aura lingering in your mind, it becomes considerably less palatable. I still haven't entirely made my mind up on this one though.

Also, were't handlebar moustaches ALWAYS sexy? Was I ahead of the curve on this one...? Finally!

Beat Control, HSM-style

2008-09-30T21:58:00.004+01:00

This isn't the type of thing I normally post about (though I'm not sure what the type of thing I normally post about is, aside from ridiculous remixes that everybody heard about a year ago) but this was sent to me on Facebook and it's so adorably cool I just couldn't help but put it up. Don't worry, this does not mark the beginning of Kidcobra's descent into an unbridled Hallmark-like expressive emotional state; future posts will be sarcastic/nonchalant and devoid of any kind of expression of emotion, apart from loathing and sheer loathing.

Here's the song, in case you liked it as much as I did. Long live Tilly And The Wall!

Beat Control - Tilly And The Wall (Zshare)

Sound of Sonar

2008-09-30T21:39:00.004+01:00

Have been trying to identify this song for AGES. Finally! I don't want to alarm anyone though, but I think Crookers might be taking over the world...

Day N Night (Crookers First Remix) - Kid Cudi (Zshare)

Hervélicious

2008-09-30T11:23:00.005+01:00

This guy has as many aliases as Stuart Price. The Count, Voodoo Chilli, Action Man, Dead Soul Brothers, Speaker Junk & Young Lovers are his alter egos, and I'm sure we can expect some album productions under Joshua Harvey sometime soon - next Madonna album perhaps? C'mon...

I've compiled together some tasty Hervé downloads, and this is pretty much before I even went looking under his other names. He has an album on the way as The Count & Sinden, and a collaborations album already out, Machines Don't Care.

Take It To The Club (Original Mix) - Jesse Rose & Action Man (Zshare)
Cheap Thrills (Armand Van Helden Remix) - Hervé (Zshare)
Cheap Thrills (Detboi Remix) - Hervé (Zshare)
Cheap Thrills (The Count Remix) - Hervé (Zshare)
Mercury (Hervé Is In Disarray Remix) - Bloc Party (Zshare)
Soundboy Massive (Hervé & Detboi Remix) - Machines Don't Care (Zshare) [if I hear that "woo! yeah!" drum loop one more time I am going to scream...]
The Salmon Dance (Hervé Remix) - The Chemical Brothers (Zshare)

I also came across this, a Machines Don't Care minimix; more info on these guys is available here. The squeaky synth at 1:14 kills me!

Machines Don't Care minimix (Zshare)

He also recently had a Party Bombs mix with Mixmag. ME WANTY.

WTFing All Over The Gaff

2008-09-29T00:25:00.002+01:00

HA! Two of my favourite things at the moment, Herve and Roisin Murphy, meet in this bizarre fusion of... hmmm... pick your genres really. Again, when I've got my downloading back I'll put this up, along with whatever Herve gems I stumble across, but until then this Youtube version isn't all that bad. It is possibly the most bizarre remix I've heard in a long time, but I absolutely LOVE the way he's messed with her voice. Brilliant... Actually can't wait for this downloading binge. Hellooooo "bandwith limit exceeded" tariffs!

Beatz Very Definitely Detected

2008-09-28T23:57:00.004+01:00

This Herve chap is my idol. I'm right now working on a ridiculous Windows computer so my downloading abilities, in some kind of bizarre inversion of generally-accepted norms regarding PCs' wider compatibility with everything, have been bizarrely compromised. Thus all I can offer you is this lo-fi Youtube of his remix of Princess Superstar's Licky. You'll still want to dance around your bedroom, especially when that bass kicks in. Yummy!

As with Cheap Thrills, I'll put up a high quality mp3 as soon as I find one *waits for inevitable high-quality version delivered via medium of post comment from a certain David Fitzgerald*. Actually, as soon as I'm back on my trusty Macbook (why do I not bring it with me everywhere I go, it's like insulin to me) I'm going to go on a massive Herve binge, the results of which I'll put up.

Incidentally, I should probably just stop going on download hunts like this and accept that whatever I discover, Neon Coyote probably knew about it fourteen months before me. The divils.

Yeeeeeeees!

2008-09-27T16:26:00.004+01:00

A while back I posted about Michael Jackson's Thriller, with links to a few sexy remixes. What I didn't tell you was that all my trawling for Thriller remixes was inspired by a single event: Annie Mac dropping the most sexalicious re-edit of the song I had ever heard in my entire life, when she played in Dublin back in December (on my birthday, as I recall). The remixes I posted were, sadly, nowhere near the awesomeness of the version Annie played, and much Hype-M-ing and googling turned up nothing. Until...

An innocent browsing of Erol Alkan videos revealed the above snippet of his set at last year's I Love Techno. The Thriller remix! My heart skipped a beat. "More info" revealed nothing of the song's title, but a fabulous commenter (thank you, neale3!) revealed the song's godlike creator. Herve.

The divil! I'd heard of this chap before fo sho (namely through the inclusion of his remix of UnkleJam's I Luv Ya on Annie Mac's Bring The Noise compilation for Mixmag April 2007) but hadn't been paying that much attention. Here it is in all its glory: Cheap Thrills by Herve. Dance monkey dance!

SMDeedy

2008-09-27T15:32:00.006+01:00

A few sexy Simian Mobile Disco-based remixes for your pleasure.

Pro Nails Ft. Kanye West (Simian Mobile Disco Remix) - Kid Sister (Zshare)
Hustler (Armand Van Helden Remix) - Simian Mobile Disco (Zshare)
Here Comes (Tahiti 80 Remix) - Simian Mobile Disco (Zshare)

It's Britneeee Bitch...

2008-09-27T15:03:00.004+01:00

Brit channelling Santogold? Seriously, the voice in the verse sounds nothing like her. This is the latest single from the Britster, and I'm sorely disappointed she didn't resort to her tried-and-tested routines of speaking in a British accent and making 3a.m. supermarket dashes to buy Cheetos, somehow translated into song form.

Is anybody else... underwhelmed? Like, when Gimme More came out I cried tears of pure Britney joy but this is just meh. It's like a less catchy version of Toxic with a bass drum that, on my stereo at least, cuts through you like a knife through butter. I am liking her raspy new voice style though, more of this please!

Britster's new album Circus (cos her life is like a circus... *inhales from spliff*) is released on December 2, so expect a flood of gays in your local HMV on said day.

Diesel XXX

2008-09-25T21:38:00.004+01:00

I must have watched this about ten times already and I'm still in stitches. Basically, Diesel is having a super duper amazing party on October 11th, with parties in 17 cities across the globe and a host of acts playing, including Mark Ronson, M.I.A. (guess we can put those retirement rumours to bed), Chaka Khan, New Young Pony Club, Uffie, Soulwax, Mr Oizo, and many MANY others. They're promoting their XXX Party through an hilarious non-explicit porn montage... If you're confused, you can watch what I'm talking about below

There's a better quality version here.

As luck would have it I will be in London on that date so am absolutely heading to this. I've been reading about it and, aside from my initial rage that M.I.A. wasn't playing at the London party, I can't freaking wait. Tickets are only £5 so I'm completely and utterly there. And in the mean time will entertain myself by watching this video one more time...

An Evening With Roesheen

2008-09-24T21:40:00.004+01:00

Trying to choose an image of Roisin Murphy to use from the plethora of amazing ones on Google Images is like trying to choose a single chocolate bar from an array of deliciousness in a candy shop. Impossible.

There are two reasons I'm posting about her this evening:

One, my night out last night revolved largely around me, Ronan and James blaring the lyrics to Overpowered around Dublin, with accompanying a capella bass and synthy drums, so felt it would be a good time to introduce Roisin to the four or five people left on this planet who have so far resisted listening to any of her material. You WILL submit.

Two, I have discovered that Roisin dearest is playing in London soon after I move over there (which will be sometime in early October, I may even be booking my flights this evening, how exciting!), so need to maximise the impact of this news by listening to nothing but Roisin until that magical day (that she plays). Shan't be difficult.

I've already had the amazing fortune of seeing her playing live at Sonar in Barcelona a few months ago - I was reluctant to go at first, what with Justice playing in the next room, but once I arrived was so unbelievably delighted that I did. Rolling around the floor, costume changes, dramatic catfights with her backup singers... Her show has it all. Highly, highly recommend bbz!

You Know Me Better - Roisin Murphy(Zshare)
You Know Me Better (Toddla T Nu Remix) - Roisin Murphy (Zshare)
You Know Me Better (Trevor Loveys Remix) - Roisin Murphy (Zshare)

And I obviously have to post this:

Overpowered - Roisin Murphy (Zshare)

And the hilarious video:

Can't. Freaking. Wait.

"I Want You Back" Says Michael To Original Face

2008-09-23T15:19:00.007+01:00

I thought I'd posted this the other day then realised - horror of horrors - that I'd forgotten to include it in my big Zshare upload. Not to worry though, as having an entire post dedicated to a Jackson Five song gives me an opportunity to point you all in the direction of this... I'm quite sure I already linked to this a few months back but there it is again in case you missed it.

Anyway, this is a funky Motown-esque remix of I Want You Back, which doesn't really change all that much but beefs up the drums a bit and moves things around a little. Simple but effective - possibly the exact opposite of Michael's cosmetic procedures. Sorry, I don't mean to be focusing on the Michael h8in' but he's been freaking me out lately. As for that article I just linked to, David Gest and Matt Willis? Best friends?

Liberal application of quotation marks required around the word "friends" as this is quite clearly the gayest thing I've heard all day, even though I know Matt Willis is married, as was David Gest - though the latter was to Liza Minelli. Nuff said.

I Want You Back (Z-Trip Remix) - Jackson Five (Zshare)

Do Not Watch If Squeamish...

2008-09-20T00:17:00.012+01:00

And I thought Hostel was bad.

Via !! omg blog !!

Because She's Amazing

2008-09-20T00:17:00.009+01:00

Don't think I ever posted this - sorry for depriving you all of the sheer aural nirvana that is experienced upon hearing sound coming from Asia Argento's voicebox.

Vampy (In Flagranti Remix) - Antipop vs. Asia Argento (Zhare)